#journal entry: on naming stuff

Ginsulat ko dya nga journal as part of my healing journey, kag assignment ka nakon ni therapist...

6 June 2021

Naganyat ako nga pangaranan dyang akon journal nga "Depression and Other Magic Tricks" but I do not want to be defined by my condition... besides that title is already isbn-ed by Sabrina Bernaim for her poetry collection. Nanami-an lang ako ka concept nga depression could also be some sort of magic.. that when the world gets too surreal, you could make it disappear, if only for a while..

Amo dya guro gina praktisan ko ay.. how to disappear. Kag naga kinahanglan ko gid bi ngaranan ang journal? Indi pwede nga makuris lang ko kang akon rapot-rapot nga paminsaron? But then, I'm the kind of person who likes to label things. Gin pangaranan ko gani mga pet cactus ko.. Ang akon bike si Wuji and my yellow back pack is Mian-Mian. Pati ang mga nagakarabit nga keychain sa akon bags kag pouches may mga ngaran man.

Perhaps it's my way of making things more personal. Mabudlay man kun kaisa waay label. Indi mo maman-an kun ano gid bala..

Kang waay pa ako na diagnose, nagapang hakroy gid ako hay indi ko mahangpan ang mga nagakatabo ka nakon. Masaku akon meltdowns. Kang nag hiribi-on ako samtang nagalantaw ka Into the Spiderverse, I knew nga indi lang dya hormones, or that period of the month. I needed help. I need a label, a name... so I would know how to deal with it. Kinda like how Ed & Lorraine Warren dealt with the demon Valak in the Conjuring franchise.. they were able to vanquish it after knowing its name.

Hmn... will naming my journal "Valak" be too weird...?